


Always

by Potato67



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Alex, Bottom Alex Manes, Canon Disabled Character, Communication, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Maria is awesome, Maybe - Freeform, No cheating, Not 2x13 compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-2x12, Smut, Sweet, Top Michael, Top Michael Guerin, malex endgame, no Maria bashing, s02e12, this turned out longer than i expected, vague mention of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:01:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24779560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Potato67/pseuds/Potato67
Summary: Before, during, and after the events of 2x12 "Crash Into Me", Michael Guerin did a lot of thinking. He thought of himself, his future, Maria and...AlexAlways Alex.
Relationships: Maria DeLuca & Michael Guerin, Maria DeLuca/Michael Guerin (minor), Max Evans/Liz Ortecho (minor), Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 12
Kudos: 136





	Always

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work for this fandom and I hope you all enjoy it!
> 
> English is neither my first, nor my second, language so please let me know if you find any mistakes!
> 
> And remember to stay safe everyone!

It was over. 

They won.

Helena was still in the wind, but everyone was safe and sound, thanks to their team effort. Isobel had managed to extinguish the fire, so the alien panel was still intact. Cam had brought Maria to Charlie, who had then managed to get the secret antidote she had developed for the bomb to Maria, thus saving them both. Liz had managed to bring Max back, so now he and Maria were resting at his place under Kyle, Isobel, and Liz’s watchful eyes. Meanwhile, Flint was recovering at the hospital, because apparently, Max had overestimated his abilities. And while Flint had sustained some severe damage, he was going to be just fine thanks to Kyle getting to him in time.

Thanks to Gregory’s distraction, Alex had managed to wrestle the gun out of his father’s hands without anyone being hurt, and Michael had then dived for the bomb. He had been holding it tightly and tried not to think about the fact that this little thing in his hands could have had Alex dead at his feet within minutes. The mere thought had him feeling nauseous.

After giving the bomb to Charlie and Cam, knowing they would destroy it, Michael got into his car and drove to Max’s house. During his drive, he did a lot of thinking. He thought about his future, about Maria, about  _ Alex _ . 

God, always Alex. 

The other man was never far away from his mind. Always in the back of his head, like a soothing presence he didn’t think he could live without anymore. 

Don’t get him wrong, he cares deeply for Maria, he always would. 

But Alex.

While he cares for Maria, he knows that Alex is it for him. For an agonizing number of days, he got a taste of what life would truly be without Alex Manes in it. Not knowing whether he was okay or not, whether he was  _ alive _ or not. Because despite Helena’s reassurances, he never actually got any proof that Alex was okay. But he still cooperated, not wanting to risk his safety and wellbeing just in case. He’d never forgive himself if it was his fault Alex got hurt. 

It was a nightmare, to put it lightly.

Throughout the whole ordeal, he came to a realization. 

Michael Guerin would not be able to live in a world where Alex Manes doesn’t exist. 

He had always known it, deep down in his soul. Since the moment Alex had offered his shed to a homeless Michael, without asking for anything in return. Alex had given him hope in humanity, in love, in  _ himself _ . Alex Manes had saved him in more ways than one that day, over ten years ago.

Parking his car next to Max’s, he slowly got out and walked in. Every step felt like lead was filling his boots, but he had to do this.

He passed a sleeping Isobel on the couch and went to his brother’s room. Max was passed out on his bed with Liz sitting next to him, watching over him and lightly petting his hair. Michael lightly knocked on the doorframe and her head snapped up. He walked towards the bed and kneeled beside his brother so that he was lying between him and Liz.

“How is he?” he asked quietly, not wanting to disturb Max’s rest.

“He’ll be fine, Kyle and I ran a bunch of tests, and the pacemaker is still intact. He just needs a lot of rest and help until he can take care of himself again.” she gave him a soft smile. She was furious about his attempt on Flint’s life, knowing what could happen if he overexerted his powers. But the relief over having him here with her, safe and sound, trumped her anger. She could yell at him later, right now she was just happy his heart was still beating. “Maria is in the guestroom, Kyle is with her.”

Michael gave her a grateful look before lightly patting Max on the shoulder and standing up. Walking towards the guestroom, he felt his heart pound in his chest. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Kyle opened the door and motioned for him to come in. Maria was laying in bed, seemingly asleep, but he could see her hand gently rubbing her temple. Before he could open his mouth, Kyle had already started talking.

“She’s going to be fine. Charlie’s antidote saved her before to much damage was done. She has one killer of a headache and she’s exhausted, but all in all, she’ll live.” the doctor explained quietly. He looked between the alien and the woman before exiting the room. “I’m gonna go check on Max quickly, call if you need anything.”

Michael nodded gratefully before closing the door after him. He then turned back to Maria, who had sat up and was looking straight at him. She looked exhausted, dark circles under her eyes, hair a mess, and skin pale. But she was still beautiful, especially with that little smile playing on her lips she seemed to have reserved especially for Michael. He tried to smile back, but it came out as more of a grimace. Seeing his expression, her smile turned into a concerned frown, and she reached her hand out to him.

“Hey,” she said softly, taking his hand and making room for him to sit on the bed. “what’s wrong? Everyone okay?”

“Yeah, everyone is fine. It’s just… We need to talk.”

Her frown turned from a concerned one to a resigned one, as if she knew what was about to come.

“I was afraid you’d say that.” she bit her lip and looked down on her lap where their entwined fingers rested. “Go ahead, say what you need to say. I’m listening.”

Michael could see the defeat in her eyes, and the guilt he was feeling threatened to overtake him completely. But he had to do this, for her sake as much as his own, it wasn’t fair to her to be strung along when he knew that he would always choose Alex in the end. Taking a deep breath, he began to talk.

“These past few days, I’ve done a lot of thinking. About, well, everything really. About life, about us-”

“About Alex.” she interrupted.

“Yeah,” he sighed “about Alex. I care about you, DeLuca. So much, and I always will. But I  _ love _ him. Always have, always will. And this” he gestured between them with his hand “isn’t fair to anyone. Not to me, not to you, not to Alex. Because as much as I try, I just can’t let him go. You’re a good person, and you deserve someone who can be good to you, but that person isn’t me. You deserve someone who will put you first, not some loser, drunk, cowboy that can't let go of his ex despite everything that's happened. I hate that I hurt you, and I hope that someday you can find it in you to forgive me.”

He looked up, not having to be able to look her in the eye during his little speech in fear of chickening out. Tears were streaming down her face, but her expression was one of acceptance.

"I-" she cleared her throat "I guess I should have seen this coming. I think, deep down, I always knew our relationship was on borrowed time. I see the way you look at him, the way you've always looked at him, and no matter how much I tried to convince myself that one day you'd look at me like that, I always knew. You belong with him, I want you both to be happy, even if it means that I have to let you go. Go to him, I think he needs you more than I do right now, and I think you need him too."

He gave her a watery smile before kissing her hand and standing up. He was about to call for Valenti when she tugged his sleeve and he turned to look at her.

"I think, I'm gonna need some time though." she breathed out "So maybe, don't come to the Pony for a while."

He nodded understandably and left the room, passing Kyle who was on his way back in for Maria. 

"How'd it go?" he asked, with an eyebrow raised in suspicion. He must have known what Michael's intention was when he first walked in.

"Good." Michael breathed out. "Better than I expected actually."

Kyle gave him a tight smile before disappearing behind the door, and Michael made his way back to his car, only stopping long enough to fix the blanket that had fallen off Isobel.

He got into his car and sped to Alex's cabin, thinking about what he was going to say to him the whole way there. But also, thinking of all the 'what if's?'. 

What if this whole ordeal had scared him off of the whole alien business? 

What if he realized that he can do so much better than Michael, who kept pushing him away despite Alex's continuous attempts to help? 

What if Alex just didn't want him anymore?

All his thoughts came to an abrupt end when he finally laid eyes on the other man. Michael had to take a second and take in his surroundings. He had been so deep in thought that he hadn't even noticed he'd arrived at Alex's, gotten out of the car and knocked on the door. And now, they were standing at opposite ends of the front door, just staring at each other.

"Guerin?" Alex was the first to speak up. He was leaning against the doorframe with both crutches in hand, dressed in sweatpants and a fitting T-Shirt, and prosthetic nowhere in sight. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with Maria? Is she okay?" 

"She's fine, she and Max are resting at his place, Valenti and Liz say they're both gonna be okay soon. They just need a lot of rest until then." He was quick to reassure. It never ceased to amaze him how selfless Alex could be, the man had been held captive for over a week by first his father, then his brother. And yet, his first concern at seeing Michael was if his friend was alright and getting the support she needed. "I actually came here because... Because I think you and I need to talk."

Alex swallowed nervously but shifted so that Michael could pass through the door and into the house. He led them to the living room, now clean after Michael's encounter with Jesse Manes, and sat down on the couch, gesturing for Michael to do the same.

"Eh, do you, like, want something to drink..?" The brunette asked awkwardly, playing with the hem of his shirt and trying, but failing, to avoid Michael's gaze. Michael just shook his head 'no' and settled back on the couch, trying not to show how nervous he truly was. Alex then cleared his throat and clasped his hands together. "Okay then, what is it you wanna talk about?"

It was as if every word Michael had prepared disappeared from his head. All he could focus on was Alex's beautiful face, his silky hair, his soft, brown eyes... Just, him. Blinking quickly, trying to clear his head, he counted to three and just let the words spill out of his mouth.

  
  


"When you were gone, and I didn't know if you were okay, hell if you were even  _ alive _ , I just... I lost it. I did everything these people told me to because, at that moment, nothing in the world mattered except protecting you. And when I stood there, building that bomb, I realized that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. Because I can't live in a world where you don't exist. You once told me that you thought I loved you, but you were wrong, because I never stopped. I love you, Alex Manes, and I always will. I know I've treated you like shit these past few months, and I understand if you never want to see my face again, but I'm begging you to give me a chance. Give me a chance to prove how much I love you, what I-"

Alex interrupted him by gently placing his hand on his mouth, effectively shutting him up. A small frown marred his face, and Michael longed to kiss it away. Alex lowered his hand and crossed his arms across his chest before looking up to meet Michael's eyes. There were unshed tears gathered in his eyes, and Michael could see that he was struggling to keep them from falling.

"Guerin, I love you too. I have since we were seventeen, and I never stopped." Michael could feel his heart swell at the words and a watery smile starting to take form on his face. "But I can't do this."

And just like that, his whole world came crumbling down. He should have known. 

'He's too late. Alex doesn't want him anymore, he's probably realized he can do better, that he deserves better, he-'

His train of thought was cut short when Alex resumed speaking.

"I can't do that to Maria. And I can't do that to you. You're happy with her, and I won't be the one to get in the way of your happiness. Me, I'm just trouble, my family and I have hurt you enough. I told you, I won't be another Manes standing in your way. Being with me will only hurt you in the end. You should be with her, she can make you happier than I ever could, she can give you what I can't. I-"

This time it was Michael interrupting him by gently pressing his lips to Alex's. The kiss was sweet, gentle, and soft enough that Alex could easily pull away if he wanted to. But he didn't, instead, he froze for a hot second before gently kissing back. 

That kiss was everything. The familiarity, the comfort, the warmth of it was everything Michael had longed for, for so long. 

It felt like coming home.

How could he have ever dreamt of giving this up? 

When the need for air became too much, Michael reluctantly pulled away, but not before placing one last peck on Alex's lips. He kept one hand cupping Alex's face, lovingly stroking his cheek with his thumb, and their faces were still close enough that their breaths mixed between them.

"Alex Manes, you never stop surprising me." He chuckled "I'm here, pouring my heart out to you, and you're still concerned about taking care of others. Maria and I talked before I came here, and I told her everything. That I care for her, but it's  _ you _ that I love. I know our past isn't exactly fairytale material, and there is so much that I regret doing and not doing. I'm asking you for a chance, I'm asking you to let me show you how much you mean to me."

The tears were now streaming down Alex's face, and Michael was gently wiping them away. Then, Alex let out a shaky breath and nodded.

"Okay then." He smiled. "Show me."

Michale let out a wet laugh and went in for another kiss, this one heated and passionate. They kissed for, what felt like, forever and only stopping when they needed to breathe. Then Michael started to trail kisses down Alex's cheek, then his neck, until he finally found the spot under his jaw he knew would drive the brunette crazy. 

Alex let out a long, sweet moan when Michael started sucking and kissing that particular part of his neck. He dragged his right hand down to the hem of Michael’s shirt and stroked the exposed skin there while his left hand was tangled in the blondes wild curls.

Suddenly Michael pulled away and breathed out a quick ‘bedroom’. Alex just nodded and moved to stand up, but realized too late that he was not wearing his prosthetic. He readied himself for hitting the floor when strong arms wrapped themselves around him. He looked up and gave Michael a sheepish smile and the other man just laughed and kissed his cheek. Michale then proceeded to grab Alex’s ass and lift him so that he had no choice other than to wrap his legs around his waist. This new position rubbed their erections together through the material of their pants, and they both hissed at the sensation.

Michael started making his way to the bedroom and tried not to walk into any walls or doorframes when Alex began to kiss and lick at his neck. Eventually, they made it to the room unharmed and Michael gently tossed him onto the bed.

The sight he made was simply irresistible.

Alex laid on his back, legs slightly spread. His hair was a tangled mess, though Michael could tell his own wasn’t any better, cheeks flushed, and his pupils were blown so much he could barely see the brown of his iris. His shirt was rumpled so the skin of his stomach was showing and he was breathing heavily.

He was absolutely perfect.

And he was all Michaels.

The cowboy didn’t wait, he crawled onto the bed and between Alex’s legs. They made eye contact, and Michael gently caressed his face, and Alex was basking in the love and affection the other man showed. It was an intimate moment between the two and at that moment, there was nothing in the world that mattered to them beside each other. Their problems, their frankly terrible communication skills, all the unsaid words could wait until the morning. 

This was their moment.

They resumed their kissing and caressing, Alex started tugging at Michael’s shirt and they both removed it, followed closely by Alex’s shirt.

Soon enough, they had lost all their clothing and were rubbing against each other and moaning into each other’s mouths.

“Condm’n lub?” Michael slurred against Alex’s lips.

“Top drawer.” Alex gasped back.

Michael pulled himself off him, smiling at the small whine the other man let out at the loss of contact, and opened the drawer. 

“Eh, there is lube but you’re out of condoms.” He frowned.

“Shit.” Alex groaned. “I forgot to buy more.”

“How do you forget to buy condoms?” Michael exclaimed.

“Well, I haven’t exactly been in need of them for quite a while, have I?” Alex bit back.

“Wait,” Michael looked at him with wide eyes. “Are you telling me that you haven’t been with anyone since…” 

Alex looked away. “Yepp.”

“Not even with, eh, Forrest?” He basically spat out the name, and tried to tame the jealousy that flared within him at the thought of Forrest touching  _ his _ Alex. He tried to remind himself that he had no right to be jealous, he had been with Maria and Alex wasn’t his then, he could be with whoever he wanted. Rational thinking, however, did nothing to help.

“No, we uh, we never got that far. And I haven’t exactly in the mood for it lately anyway, so…” He trailed off. “I mean, I’m clean if you want to…”

“Yeah, me too. You know, alien immunity and all that.” Alex laughed and Michael pressed a long kiss against his lips while grabbing the bottle and putting it beside Alex’s head.

He started trailing kisses down his neck and chest, stopping there long enough to pay some attention to Alex’s nipples, relishing in the sounds and squirming that resulted in. Eventually, he made it down to the brunettes leaking cock. It looked painfully hard and it was dripping precome, and Michael couldn’t help himself, he licked it from the root up.

Alex gasped and Michael had to hold his hips down as he started kissing and sucking it, lovingly rubbing his stump while he was at it. Alex was a mess, it had been a long time since he’d felt anything like this, and it sure was worth the wait.

“Michael!” He panted “Please please pleasepleaseplease! I’m so close!”

Suddenly, Michael sat up and Alex whined at the loss of friction. Michael sent him a playful grin, his lips wet and red, and grabbed the bottle of lube from the bed.

“Not yet, Private.” He uncapped the bottle and poured some onto his fingers. “Not until I’m inside of you.”

Alex sucked in a quick breath at that and automatically spread his legs wider so that Michael could fit in between them. Michael crawled between them again and pressed his forehead against Alex’s. He rubbed his slick finger against the soldier’s opening, pressing a bit, but not enough for it to slip in.

“You ready?” He whispered. Alex nodded and pressed a quick kiss to his nose. Michael slowly pressed his finger in, careful so that he wouldn’t hurt him and looked at his face for any sign of discomfort. Even though Alex didn’t show any sign of pain, quite the opposite actually, he still asked, just to be sure. When Alex told him not to stop, he slowly pushed his finger in and out, getting him used to the sensation. Alex then let him know he was ready for another, so Michael pulled out to add more lube onto his fingers, and gently pressed in two this time. After a while, he was scissoring his fingers and had added a third, Alex was a moaning mess beneath him.

“Michael, Michael, please! I’m ready!” Michael gladly complied, getting a bit desperate himself. He pulled his fingers out and proceeded to squirt out more lube and slicking his shaft up.

“How do you want it?” He panted.

“Like this, I want to see you.” Alex replied. Michael grabbed a pillow, ignoring that he was probably ruining it with his lube covered hand, and placed it beneath Alex’s hips. He then got back between Alex’s legs, wrapping them around his waist, and slowly pushed in, all while maintaining eye contact. Once he had pushed all the way in, they were both panting hard and loud.

“You okay?” Michael asked. 

“Yeah, just give me a second to adjust.” Alex panted in reply. Michael just nodded and started to place gentle kisses all over his face to help him relax. It must have worked because soon enough, Alex was moving on his own, trying to create friction. “Move, please.”

And so he did. Michael started to gently pull out and push back in, quickly finding a steady rhythm. They didn’t hurry, taking their time instead, reacquainting themselves with each other’s bodies and just adoring one another.

This wasn’t just sex, they were making love. Michael realized this as even though he had the majority of his body so pressed against Alex that it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began, he still felt like he just wanted to be closer to him. 

Suddenly, Alex started to push Michael off him. Afraid that he had somehow hurt him, Michael almost flew off and was now sitting with his back against the headboard. Before he could ask if something was wrong, Alex was straddling him and sinking down on his length, this time being filled completely. Michael could only moan as Alex took charge and started riding him. Alex wrapped his arms around Michael’s neck and Michael wrapped his around Alex’s back, pressing their bodies together so that Alex’s cock was trapped between their bellies.

“You know what they say,” Michael laughed breathlessly “save a horse, ride a cowboy.”

“Fuck, Michael!” Alex breathed, consumed by all the sensations, by the pleasure, by  _ Michael _ . “I’m so close.”

“Say it again. Please baby, I love it when you say my name.” Michael was nearing his orgasm as well, and hearing Alex say his name, not just Guerin, just did something to him he couldn’t explain.

“Michael, Michael, MichaelMichaelMichael…” Michael gasped and started pounding up into Alex and soon enough, Alex was coming all over their bellies. Michael flipped them over so they were back in their original position and pounded into him, chasing his own release. 

“Fuck, I love you.” Alex mumbled into his ear, and that was all it took for Michael to bury himself as deep as he could into the soldier and have, what he was sure was, the best orgasm he’s ever had.

They just laid there for a while, trying to catch their breaths and just enjoying the closeness of each other. Eventually, Michael gently pulled out and flipped down onto his back beside Alex. He reached for one of their shirts that had ended up on the drawer next to him and started to slowly wipe them down, trying to get as much sweat and cum off of them as he could without having to leave the bed.

When he laid back down, Alex turned to him and placed his head on his shoulder, breaths puffing against Michael’s neck, and threw his arm and leg over him, as well. Michael threw the shirt on the floor and wrapped his arms around Alex, lazily stroking his back and just basking in the afterglow. He could feel himself and Alex start to drift off and used his telekinesis to shut the light off and pull the cover over them.

“That will come in handy in the future.” Alex mumbled into his neck. 

Michael chuckled and kissed the top of his head. “I love you so much.”

He thinks he heard Alex mumble something in return before they both fell into a fitful sleep.

  
  
  


***

  
  


Michael woke up the next morning with empty arms and Alex’s side of the bed cold. Heavy disappointment set itself within him, thinking Alex had changed his mind and left again. He was about to lay back down when he heard the subtle strum of a guitar. He got up and put on his boxers and T-shirt, not bothering with pants, before following the sound of music which led him to the kitchen. It was empty, but the smell of fresh coffee in the air proved that someone had recently been there. The kitchen door, leading to the backyard, was open and the music came from outside, so he poured himself a cup and made his way out.

There sat Alex, dressed similarly to Michael himself, playing away on his guitar and singing with his angelic voice. He must have been there for a while because Michael seemed to only catch the last half of the song.

" _ I was raised a soldier _

_ Put my weapons down to hold you _

_ Is a kiss an act of war? _

_ I just tried to keep you warm _

_ Even though I couldn't stay _

_ No, you never looked away _

_ Now I won't look away _

_ Would you meet me in the middle? _

_ Could we both stop keeping score? _

_ There's a battle I must fight alone _

_ It's you I'm fighting for _

_ If I call off the battalion _

_ Break my walls down stone by stone _

_ Tear down my defenses _

_ I can build your heart a home _

_ And if I did _

_ Would you come home? _

_ I still find my fathers shrapnel _

_ Buried beneath my skin _

_ But I've begun to heal in all the places your hands have been _

_ Would you meet me in the middle? _

_ Could we both stop keeping score? _

_ There's a battle I must fight alone _

_ It’s you I'm fighting for _

_ If I call off the battalion _

_ Break my walls down stone by stone _

_ Tear down my defenses _

_ I can build your heart a home _

_ And if I did _

_ Would you come home? _

_ Ooh ooh ooh ooh _

_ Ooh ooh ooh ooh _

_ Wish I found the words when we were seventeen _

_ You were the best of me _

_ You are the best of me… _ ”

  
  


Michael cleared his throat, trying to rid the lump that had formed there and accidentally drawing Alex’s attention. They looked at each other for a few seconds before Michael put his cup down and walked towards the other man. Alex put his guitar away and stood up, now wearing his prosthetic, meeting Michael halfway.

“You wrote that?” The blonde asked and wrapped his arms around Alex’s waist.

“Yeah, it’s just something I’ve been working on for a while.” Alex replied with a slight blush spreading over his cheeks and rested his hands on Michael’s arms.

“It’s beautiful. But you’re wrong, you know.” At Alex’s confused expression he smiled and cupped his face in his hand. “You don’t have to fight this battle alone, I’m here and we’re gonna do this together, okay? I love you, and I’m gonna be here for you, always.”

“Yeah, I love you too.” Alex smiled back and gave him a soft kiss. “Always.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading and don't forget to leave kudos if you liked it, and I love comments so be sure to leave those as well if you want to. I love you all!
> 
> Lyrics are from the song "Would You Come Home" by Tyler Blackburn, if you haven't listened to it yet I really recommend you do! It's amazing and he has the most beautiful voice!
> 
> I don't own the series "Roswell, New Mexico" nor any of the characters in this story!


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